JONGSON PARK

Some people believe the only expectation of change they can initiate and have accountability for is first within themselves. Other’s believe for any real meaningful change, change must happen as a movement, as a people, as a population.

Both are important and equally powerful. I think both should be used synchronistically. Real change happens at an individual instance, change is a correction, understanding what’s good, what’s right and making decisions and actions aligned with producing the better outcome. That kind of change takes time, patience, understanding and compassion for that person but also for the people around them. I think it’s unfair, not compassionate and intolerant for the people around that person to enforce an expectation for them to change, when everything has its time, everyone is growing and developing at their pace.

There have been many great humanitarian movements in the past, i.e. Civil Rights movement, but there have been many horrific movements as well. Movements are not right or justified just because they are movements. And just because the movement has a lot of people doesn’t give it moral authority.

A real movement is when people experience individual change as a group, as a people, at the same time, organically, authentically, synchronistically not just a compliance and assimilation of thought – otherwise movements can just be a mass agreement of emotions and feelings without any real purpose or discovery, self-awareness and experience of change.

Change starts from a place of impossibility, difficulty, struggle and maybe even hopelessness, it is a long, difficult road from those feelings and emotions to a place of change, progress, hope and betterment.

When movements are distorted, they are rooted in fear, insecurity, desperation and hopelessness and just imposing a will upon other people through fear and manipulation. The movements of real change are organic, authentic and rooted in fearlessness, hope, courage, connection, compassion and love.

We need heroes of patience, understanding and compassion. I think this is our greatest power for change.

I think there are two types of tendencies, either attacking the self or attacking externally.

Attacking the self – thoughts of inadequacy, need to always do better, a heavy self-reliance, self-examination and evaluation, the inner-voice is honest and unsparing, at times unfair. Self-criticism is harsh. Value and self-worth are frequently in doubt. Something can always be done better. Points of failure always starts with square one. The blame starts with “me”.

Attacking externally – The blame starts with “you”. What’s wrong with “them”. Why can’t “they” change. It’s “me” verse the world and everyone against “me”. Everything seems so “unfair”. Everyone is out to get me. Everyone is wrong and I’m right. Everyone else is usually the problem.

They both overlap, it’s the same voices but one is directed inward while the other is outward. Some people are able to use either voice as a source of motivation or power but others can be crushed by the voices. In either case, I don’t think it is a healthy mindset. Both come from a feeling of inadequacy, judgement and feeling of rejection. They conjure defensiveness, criticism, separation and disconnectedness.

Instead try acceptance, forgiveness and grace. For yourself and others.

Doing things for the group versus doing things for yourself.

Go along with the group, in someways this is easier, having a dependable group of friends and social circles, to help you get through life’s ups and downs, comforting you and to gain some advice. Relying on the group to help inform your intentions, thoughts and feelings. But go with the group too much and you lose your voice, find yourself doing things you wouldn’t necessarily do or even think is right, at least for yourself. Find yourself being the median of the group and your own purpose, intention and desire grows less important.

Do things only for yourself, in someways it’s easier, no one to answer to. A clearer connection to your inner-voice. You know what’s good for you and what you think you should do. Not everyone’s experience is the same as yours, and their advice will typically result in the outcome they’ve produced. This means you have to rely on your own decision-making and thought process to help get you to where you want to go. You answer to yourself, but you can be your own harshest critic. Although you can gain the most distance and progression, in the form of self-improvement and progressions more quickly running alone, this world wasn’t mean to be lived alone, self-absorbed in doing your own thing. It can lead to a selfish, narcissistic, solipsist mindset, leaving you always on the outside looking in. Disconnected and unable to connect with the person next to you.

The balance of the two, accepting yourself to be yourself in a group and being accepted by the group to be yourself. Which is hard to do and hard to find. Not a group that wants, needs or compels you to conform, and not being pressured or feel inadequate or insecure that you don’t and stay different.

Be a pioneer. Most people are afraid to be the first, to take that lonely, thankless, solo journey of exploration, doubt, fear and discovery. But most people also want another way, they want to do what works, they want answers and the truth. They want to know it works and someone to show them that it does.