-
Public Speaking
If we think about why public speaking is the scariest thing to many people. Judged by our words. Our words are our thoughts. Judged on our appearance, presence, credibility, connection. That’s a lot of judgment.
-
Invisible Wall
Fear is hidden. Fear is invisible. Fear is clever, cunning. Fear is personal, intimate. Fear is deep. Fear is pervasive. Fear is persistent. Fear is rooted. Fear is reasonable. Fear is convincing. Fear is unseen.
I don’t think people really know the fears that are holding them back. It’s an invisible wall we don’t even know is there. Because we are complicit in keeping it hidden, unseen. We make every excuse, every reason not even try. And every excuse and every reason is valid, reasonable, convincing and true. “What’s the point?” “I’m not good enough.” “I won’t succeed.” “Don’t even try.”
We’re blinded by our excuses and reasons to stop us from encountering that fear – the invisible wall. And we won’t even know it was there until we force ourselves to crash through it, overcome it, persevere, look back and see the broken glass on the floor. Then we begin to understand there are hidden walls all around us, and although maybe we won’t be able to find them right away, we know they’re there and know what to look for.
-
This does not define you
This mistake, this failure, this rejection, this shortcoming, this loss does not define you.
This win, this success, this achievement, this accomplishment, this victory does not define you.
This moment, this decision, this instance, this event does not define you.
You are singularily a lifetime culmination of your experiences, decisions, thought, actions of learning, discovery, exploration, creativity, connection. Every instance but all as one. You are even the future decisions and actions, you haven’t even done yet.
You are learning, growing, evolving. Take it as praise but also as encouragement. Every journey has a path, and we’re just at a relative position on that path.
-
Continuum
We are on a continuum. An attempt. An effort. A life full of decisions, mistakes, shortcoming and successes. Underachievements. Overachievements. Doing the best we can with what we have and what we know. While not knowing what we don’t know.
A life effected by the generations before us, hindered or privileged by the hands we’ve been dealt. Knowledge of life, values, experiences and wisdom passed down or never passed down or never learned. Tools, mindsets and coping mechanisms some more advantageous than others, some more detrimental than others. Personality, persona, attitudes and character that is better fit, more desirable or less fit, less desirable.
All in an attempt to get to where we’re trying to go. But where are we trying to go? The race track of life, filled with twists and turns, configured to make mistakes, dead ends and being turned around. Every decision, even the mistakes and indecisions is an attempt to get to where we’re trying to go. And even those “mistakes” informs the following generations. Not every path is perfectly navigated.
We are a continuum following an invisible, unforeseeable track, doing the best we can with what we know. While we struggle to pave the way for what might be just incremental revelations of the path, in which the benefits can only be measured and seen for generations to come. We make an impact on the generations following us, with what we do today. Hopefully with some reflection, discovery and awareness to make sense of our purpose, decisions and consequences.
-
Fearlessness is freedom
Food. Shelter. Safety. The most essential physical necessities for survival. These at the most basic level is all one needs to stay alive. If this is in scarcity, the basic need isn’t so hard to understand around the decisions and actions. And fortunately, many people are no longer concerned with these survival instincts, at least not the way primitive and ancient humans were.
What is ultimately the singularly universal, most primal fear we all share? The fear of… Judgment. Rejection. Separation. This is our universal primal fear that drives all fear-based decisions.
Judgment of being different, not good enough, or standing out too much, having different thoughts, ideas, opinions, being criticized, not meeting expectations, disappointment, failing. Being Rejected based on that judgment and ultimately being Separated from the “pack”.
Just think about how many decisions we make on a daily basis that isn’t based on not being judged, rejected and separated by “others”. How we talk. What we say. How we act. What we think. How hard we try. Our expectations of ourselves. Expectations from others. Why we say “yes”. Why we say “no”. What we think of ourselves. What we think others think of us. Why we do what we do.
But these fears are all imaginary, they’re illusions, stories we tell ourselves of the humiliation, rejection and excommunication. They are not threats to our literal survival but we treat them as if they were. Fearlessness is knowing, even if you have to endure the judgment, rejection and separation, you are ultimately invincible it. It will not “kill” you.
Fearlessness is freedom for you to be who you are.
-
Different but the same
We are all bound, lives connected by thoughts, words, decisions and actions. Every moment creating a ripple, each wave a child of the previous, spreading, expanding through space and time, effecting the next. We are not islands making isolated decisions that have no effect on the person next to us. Every instance is a simultaneous nexus of cause and effect. We are all individuals in a collective, different but the same.
-
Source Code
Be intentional with what you feed your spirit. Most of the information we passively receive is negative, depressing and discouraging. Seeding a heart of discontent and fatalism. Find something inspiring, uplifting, hopeful and encouraging to listen to or watch everyday, doesn’t have to be long, to recalibrate your mind on something that brings life, energy and motivation. So that you can be a source of energy, positivity and life in others.