JONGSON PARK

At the end of the day, I think everyone can say “they did the best they can, with what they had”. Can’t really argue with that. But some people will struggle to the end with whatever life throws at them, in relationships, finances, self-development, family, just able to keep their head above water. So what’s the difference between someone stuck in the mire and someone being able to move forward? I think it’s being able to learn, develop with awareness and humility to try to not repeat the same mistakes or to make decisions to avoid being put in same situations, with similar outcomes.

There is power in the ownership and accountability of decisions, circumstance and outcomes.

Don’t be defined by the “wins” the “losses”. It shouldn’t be a pursuit of being better than the person next to you. Don’t feel less than someone who is “better” at something than you. All those things are fear-based.

Identity isn’t in the competition, winning or losing. It should be the pursuit of mastery, the artistry of craftsmanship that should be the fulfillment and the reward in itself.

Being able to help and make the people around you better, improve and progress is exponentially better and more fruitful than only bettering yourself. But competition is the lowest common denominator that is able to engage a group in the forward pursuit, instead of the harder, more difficult method of teaching and learning a pathway toward progression, improvement and mastery.

Competition can bring out the best but also gives room to bring out the worst. Competition pushes boundaries, continually progressing our medical and technology forward. We see in athletic competition, people doing things we’ve never seen before, faced against adversity and challenges. Competition funnels the best doctors to the top, to the best schools, best hospitals and most difficult cases.

But competition can also bring out the worst, cutthroat, win-at-all-costs mentality, toxic competitiveness, cheating, playing the political angle instead of doing what’s right, a separation of the “winners” and “losers”, producing the perception and/or reality of an unfair paradigm – the cards are “stacked” against the losers and can never be winners.

Is the answer eliminate competition? Conform people, society, a species to abandon an evolutionary survival instinct. Competition that exists all throughout nature, plants and animals.

I think the answer, the real difficult challenge, is taking part in the competition, but not being defined by the competition. Not being defined by the status of “winner” or “loser” not being driven or motivated by the status but performing the action to be present, engaged and open at what you’re doing, which will only get you better at what you do.

Not being defined by the competition is not being defined by the “wins” and “losses”, you are where you are in the progress of improvement and progression, understanding the wins and losses are just “mile markers”. No one ever went undefeated, ever.

As a child I didn’t like competition. I didn’t like how it made people feel less than and others feel better than. And I hated that it also becomes one of the motivating factors – wanting to feel better than and not wanting to feel less than. And then it’s reinforced by all the systems and perception around us. School, grades and rising to the top or falling to the bottom. Sports, “winners” and “losers”. Contests, notoriety and achievements. Jobs, promotions and raises. And then this drive, motivation and ambition becomes an identity.

It’s a self-fulfilling loop. The system and perception of others defining who are the “winners” and “losers” and the individual buying into that perception, seeing themselves as a “winner” or “loser”. Seeing the world through that paradigm, if they’re a winner, someone else is a loser. If they’re a loser, someone else is a winner.

Ambition, motivation, drive, will-power isn’t just about achieving ultra-success. Maybe it’s about getting an education, health & fitness, working on temperament, addiction, habits, relationships, self-improvement. Everyone has that thing they want to work on, it isn’t all about the drive for success and money. But it’s that one thing that will require all the force, strength and grit to overcome and persevere. That’s needed, that will test them, that will seem impossible, and will be some of the hardest things they’ve ever done.