JONGSON PARK

I used to only rely on what I could think out, trust in my own thoughts, spend most of my attention, presence in what was going on in my own head. But as I’ve grown and learned, there is an ability to be more present to other people. Be a receptor, receiver, open to what the other person is giving. As a child I think I was very open, and I could sense everything. I couldn’t speak English, I spoke very little. I had a hard time communicating so I had a heightened sense of awareness. I was/am so sensitive to everything. I had to close it off, shut it down for a bit to learn how to manage, control it. Not let every stimulus hijack my thoughts, emotions, energy. To learn that I do have some control over how I respond to other people’s energy but also, if possible, try to refract it into something positive.

Just one example would be, having friends or spending time with critical or defeatist minded people, I would start adopting those same attitudes. Similar for insecurity, competition, inferiority, tempers or jealousy.

I think the tendency for me, when someone is giving off a negative energy or expressing a self-critical mind, I will sense it, feel it and internalize it. I will start to direct that negative energy onto myself, which ends up me taking it personal. One solution would be to be closed off to block that energy, that creates a coldness, isolation, separation from other people. But I can still feel and can see what other people’s energy but I’m more guarded and because I’m trying to protect myself from this emotional intrusion, it feels like an assault and everything starts to look like an attack. So that really wasn’t much of a better solution. Now, I think for me, the response has been let myself be open to other people’s energy, acknowledge it, don’t judge it, embrace that we can each have our own energy and for me to respond with understanding, grace, empathy and compassion. This has become a more positive experience for me.

Is there an unseen harmony, disharmony? Do people give off energy? Are “vibes” real? A resonant, reverberating, compounding synergy of people’s energy. Sure a look, glance. Gesture, body language. Expressions, inflections, tone can say a lot without saying anything. But is there an even deeper, unseen connective tissue of energy, expressed through just presence, looking into someone’s eyes, standing next to someone, just being present in the moment, being a receptor of the other person or group’s energy.

Did you ever walk into a room that had a person or group of people and immediately get the sense something wasn’t right. Babies can’t verbally speak, all they have is being able to respond and react to people’s energy. Or dogs, pets, animals, don’t they seem to have the ability to sense people’s energy.

A very non-scientific thought exercise but maybe something to consider.

“What you say about how reality works will be how reality works for you.”
-Personality Hacker Podcast

One thing I’ve learned, it’s a learning moment when I get annoyed, irritated or angered by someone, this is especially true when it comes to the people closest to me. My first reaction is to feel discord, discomfort, disharmony, disagreement or incompatibility and I just want to respond by ignoring, avoiding, or escalate with friction, tension or antagonism but when I let that reaction subside and not make it about myself and use some self-reflection and awareness, I realize there’s a blindspot, or an unresolved issue I have with myself. What it usually looks like is that I do the same exact thing that was annoying me and have a similar “problem” or maybe their action is exposing some unaddressed truth about myself, something I didn’t like about myself in the past but changed or thought I resolved. But that’s really just the first level and not very actionable. The action item is I have to forgive myself for that place in my life or blindspot. I need to have more grace and compassion for myself which also in turn produces more compassion and empathy for others. Relinquishing that judgment, I’m able to redirect what might be toxic, narcissistic energy into productive, empathetic and selfless energy.

In the Abstract – Speaking of the unseen, invisible, hidden essence of the deeper meaning we sense around us. What is actual we perceive through our fives senses. What is abstract we perceive through our sixth sense. The abstract is a hidden language that only the curious, those seeking the unseen, that which human eyes cannot see and ears cannot hear. Words and thoughts for the ears and eyes of the spirit. The abstract is a coded message a hidden substrate, another layer of reality, that is there not to be elusive or unattainable but is always there, seen but unseen, perceived but ignored, but available, ready for anyone with the curiosity to look.

An example… we view a painting, listen to music, watch a film, hear a story, our five senses can see and appreciate the colors, shapes, words, notes, lyrics, dialogue, sounds and visuals. But there is an unseen layer of the abstract, what is the real story being conveyed without being overt, that isn’t obvious. What is the abstract hidden and unseen that connects us to what we are experiencing. Articulating the abstract is part of our responsibility, to share these hidden truths, to share in these experiences, to connect us deeper to each other, connect us to deeper truths. There are abstract layers everywhere.