We all see things so differently. Everyone is so unique. We can’t all be right. We can’t all be wrong. Different desires. Different values. Different approaches, judgments. Aren’t we all just trying to do what we think to know is best. Is it right or wrong? Maybe it’s good, better, best.
Often times, I find myself able to see both sides of a position. I can understand why, even down to the feelings and personal attachments. When I listen to a someone talk about a position I don’t initially understand or agree with, my first inclination is curiosity. I don’t start with the premise that they’re wrong. I start asking the question “why” and “how”.
Starting with the expectation of changing someone’s mind or perspective is a difficult posture. Maybe that’s what I’m here to learn. But so far what I’ve come to is the only real expectation I can have for myself is to offer empathy and the intentionality of being available and trying to understand.
But what am I missing here? The change? ‘Does being able to see both sides, make it feel like finding myself not having a side. Admittedly, maybe I am often times in “no-man’s land”, almost like not having an opinion. When people are looking for assertions, I might be making accommodations. Maybe it’s my desire to seek balance and harmony, avoid conflict and confrontation. Trying to synthesize people’s thoughts, ideas and intentions into the best case scenario.
I feel myself questioning this line of curiosity, what is the exploration, discovery? Finding stakes in an assertion. Not just seeing both sides of the position but having a stake in one position… bringing it all back to decisions, goals, stakes.