Is individualism bad or good? Some people see individualism as bad. It can look like or lead to selfishness, narcissism, greed, lack of compassion. And to some people individualism might be good. It can look like pursuit, growth, ambition, independence.
If you are someone that has a dream, vision, ambition but are in an environment with family, friends or circumstance that are defeatist, discouraging, unsupportive or even critical of your dreams. It maybe not because they don’t want to support you or don’t love you, but because they don’t know how. First the literal mechanics of how to help you get to where you want to go as well as knowing how to get over the psychological baggage of overcoming a defeatist mindset. Second, they don’t want to see you disappointed or fail. Or third, it might make them jealous, insecure or feel bad about themselves to see someone go after their dreams.
If you are in that kind of situation, there may be two ways to go. 1) Fall back in line and follow their mindset as to not make them feel bad or 2) become more of an individualist to find new voices to speak into your life, a new mindset to grow into and perceptions to change. It will be hard, difficult, feel impossible and lonely. In a way, you’ll be rejecting your friends or family’s mindset, and they may let it be known you’re making them feel that way. It may feel bitter. It may feel like they don’t understand. It may become isolating. It may feel like abandonment on both sides.
Individualism is the pursuit of betterment, independent of the group’s response or state. In this case, it might be to the group’s benefit to not create disruption, chaos or drama to not go for your dreams and keep everyone happy.
Individualism has the potential of becoming selfish, narcissistic and lack compassion. A common motto “Don’t forget where you came from.” You may have to be selfish, uncompromising, almost arrogant, driven to take those first few steps out of your comfort zone, circle of friends, family to go off on your own, to do something no one in your family or community has done but stay in that mind space too long and that can go from drive, self-centeredness, arrogance, resentment to lack of compassion.
But individualism needs compassion. Compassion and understanding for your circumstance. Compassion and understanding for your friends. Compassion and understanding for your family. Compassion and understanding for yourself. We become so hard on ourselves, driving, pursuing, pushing toward that end goal, we lose compassion for ourselves. You did something hard. You did something impossible. You did something more than you thought you ever could when you first started. But the act, the success, the dream isn’t the great accomplishment, it’s the value of compassion learned through this process, through the journey.
Compassion isn’t money, material, words or tokens of giving. Compassion is unspoken, humility, listening, presence, generosity, understanding. Compassion at our greatest moments, that is what can be shared, inspired, generous. That is individualism for the sake of the whole.