In my experience, I’ve found that anything that starts with an expectation or desired outcome is a formula for the Ego to take control. The desire or expectation inherently establishes the opposite dichotomy of not meeting expectations or obtaining the desired outcome. Maybe it’s the fear of failure, or it’s not even a full-fledge fear it’s the possibility of, the logic that only one outcome can be true given any possible scenarios, gives the Ego a sliver of an opening to come out and play. That if unchecked will take over and ruin the experience.
But then I think, there are many people, athletes or other smart, skilled people that do live their life setting up expectations, driving forward, unstoppable, willing themselves to success, overcoming setbacks along the way. But I imagine it feels like trying to feed an unquenchable hunger, trying to satisfy the Ego that will never be satisfied or fulfilled, even with more and more accomplishments. But you’re only as good as your last venture, success or fail. And each accomplishment has to be bigger and better than the last. While reaching each accomplishment only feeds into the Ego, making it even more powerful and insatiable than before.
It seems unsustainable, unsatisfying and the only thing that you can hold onto with any kind of comfort or justification is the accomplishments but they’re just a fleeting memory and the sensation of success was never really fully satisfying because it was always onto the next big thing.
But then I ask, is the expectation or the desire to “win” necessary to do your best, to be fully present, give all your energy and focus in what you’re doing. Maybe the stakes of competition does bring out that primal focus for many people. But is it absolutely necessary? I don’t think it is. I think being fully immersed, engaged, present, focused, intense, creative is actually easier, optimized and maximized without expectations. It actually puts you in a mental state and focus that produces more energy and ability that will ultimately result in more “wins”.