A young boy, 8 or 10 years old, trying to kick a soccer ball into the goal from about 20 yards away, it would go wide left and completely miss. And he’d go into a moment of frustration and anger. He’d do this a couple more times, miss the goal and then go into a fit. After a couple more times of kicking and missing he went back even further, to about 40 yards and started kicking and missing from even further out. He finally dropped to the ground crying in frustration and anger.
I’m not judging this young boy but I’m judging what he was or wasn’t taught. I mean I think we’re all this young boy at some point in our lives, when our hearts and heads are bigger than our body.
The boy is obviously passionate but wasn’t taught a way to build a process. When we can make our heart the engine and our mind the steering wheel, then we can go and drive, then we can have our heart and mind working together, for each other. His passion made him want to go out there and practice and perform but that kind of fiery passion is usually interpreted into something like being able to kick the ball in from further and further away from the goal. The home run, touchdown, running or lifting your max on the very first day. As if, all it takes is passion, hunger and talent to be good.
The engine is the desire, motivation and energy to go out there to practice, perform and get better. The steering wheel is driving that energy into a sustainable, intrinsically rewarding, measurable process. The process is kicking the goal from 5 yards away, make 5 in a row, move 5 yards back, make 5 in a row, move 5 yards back and repeat, and repeat. There will be a distance where it will be more difficult and inconsistent to making 5 in a row. That’s when you just do your best and be okay with that being the limit… for today. Because you come out the next day, and start the process over, then you’ll find that the spot that was the limit the day before is a little bit easier the next day. And you’ll see your new limit is surpassing your previous limit. Do it again the next day and everyday you’ll reach your new best.
Some days will be easier, some days will be harder. And there will be times where knew progressions will have to be introduced to break through even harder ceilings but that’s okay because now you have a measurable, sustainable process. You’re using your head to drive your heart.
But why isn’t this approach more natural more instinctual, taught more? Because we’ve been taught to go for the home run, touchdown, it’s all about results. We only see and celebrate the end results, we don’t ever see the grind, the humble beginnings – nobody glamorizes that, nobody wants to see that. Be okay with starting small. Be okay with taking steps. Be okay with facing your limitations but knowing it’s not permanent.
The process frees us from limiting beliefs. That young boy, he decided to put his passion and fire into “trying his best” but he kept missing and “failing” and risked being on the verge of thinking, “I’m not good enough”, “I must not have what it takes”, “I should give up”.
But the process is just knowing the next step forward.