It used to really be discouraging when people close to me didn’t understand, didn’t support or believe what I was doing. Most times they wouldn’t say anything to me directly, they might even say they support me but instances, moments of truth, their doubt or discouragement would come through.
Those hurt and I’d end up doubting myself and what I was doing. Or maybe those moments were just bringing to the surface the doubt and insecurity I was trying to overcome.
But I’ve come to realize it’s unrealistic to expect people you know or are close to, to support or understand you, let alone share your beliefs or conviction. Proximity isn’t depth.
And wanting to get other people’s support or belief is trying to get validation before anything’s ever happened. It may feel good for a while but sometimes it can actually be detrimental. It’s temporary fuel to try to squeeze motivation out of another day. It’s a numbing anesthetic to insecurity and fear. It’s dependence for not having confidence yourself.
But ultimately, I think it’s embracing the process over seeking approval. The value isn’t in its approval, the value is in the process you brought to it. Most people can only see or pay attention to the final product. And that’s okay. Our attention, ability to communicate, and imagination is limited. Because we all have a responsibility that requires time and work to the process and then share it to the world.
Like anyone, I think my greatest desire is to be understood. Give life to my expressions. Create the internal into the external. I can be the only person that can have the level of conviction and belief to bring into the world, what only I can see.