The stress and anxiety, urgency and unease of not being where you want to be in your life, feeling like you should be at a certain place or looking around you and the perception that everyone else is doing more, better, further along than you are. It’s hard not to think that way, when you’re trying so hard, putting in the effort, energy, determination and perseverance, doing everything you can to better and further yourself and your family.
But it’s a double-edged sword, the desire to want to be better is what causes action and momentum to move in that direction, but it’s also the same mindset that starts to create that gnawing low-key stress and anxiety, of a better place, nothing is quite good enough, self-criticism and judgment, not being content, satisfied or robbing happiness.
So how do you have one without the other? It’s good to have a destination in mind, a vision of yourself, things you want to do and accomplish. But you can’t compare who you are now to who that person is in the future or the people around you. The word “better” implies an act of comparison. Comparison is the first thief of peace of mind and essential gratitude.
You are who you are at this moment in time, accept that and just be who you are in the here and now – not who you think you should be or feeling the anxiety that you’re not quite there yet. Because that feeling will become engrained and won’t go away even when and if you do “make it”.
It may seem like the only way to push forward is with criticism and motivation comes from a gnawing discontent, competition or comparisons but I don’t think that’s true anymore.
It would be nice to already be where you want to be, who you want to be, but there are many lessons to be learned to get to where you want to go. And it’s best to be fully present, loving, compassionate and empathetic to yourself along that journey. Low-key stress and anxiety from comparison, competition and criticism is a fear-based mindset.