The moment you realize the things you’re telling yourself aren’t for your own good.
You’re so unlucky. Nothing good ever happens to you.
You’ll never get what you want. You don’t deserve it.
You’re not good enough. Don’t even try.
How did I let these thoughts ever get in my head?
But once I realized the kinds of things I was telling myself, it was like a reckoning, a purge. And it didn’t even have to be so insidious. They could be subtle, innocuous, seemingly inconsequential. But it all matters.
Once you see the those thoughts, you can’t go back. Suddenly hearing a voice you’d never paid attention to, has become so obvious, loud and conspicuous.
And these negative thoughts aren’t even true or based in reality, it would be just as valid to embrace the opposite positive thoughts. But there’s also the risk of becoming drunk with overly positive, over-estimating thoughts. I think “good” thoughts or “bad” thoughts are both in a way misleading. “Good” thoughts have a way of building up hope and expectation, which can lead to disappointment and heartbreak. “Bad” thoughts might be a way of not building up that hope and expectation but can also become a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Maybe it’s not about trying to judge the situation to try to perceive the expected outcome. Maybe it’s just about doing what you’re doing free from judgment, expectation, not trying to predict or build a story around what you’re doing.