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Mirror
The things that get us annoyed, irritated and angry at other people really must be things we see in ourselves and don’t like. I’m so aware of how critical I am of myself, for the most part I’ve learned to try not use that same kind of judgment or criticism in others but it’s definitely not perfect. I’m going test myself, be even more aware of when I get irritated or get that feeling of judgment and try to use it as a mirror, to see if that thing I’m judging in someone else is something I do myself. If it is, I’m going to have to have more compassion, forgiveness and grace for myself. I think that’s the only way to not create that same judgment in others.
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Easy Ease
I’m always a little distant from what the majority are doing. Healthy dose of skepticism. Everything should be open to question, evaluation, self-reflection and awareness. Because the better, right thing is not always the easier thing to do and it’s a lot easier to do the easier thing.
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Semi-Charmed Life
Is not caring, the same as being fearless? Or is not caring more like an anesthesia, a numbing agent to not feel the fear.
Not caring about failing. Not caring about succeeding. Not caring about caring. Living the semi-charmed kind of life but it’s more like a sedative.
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How? Why? What?
Isn’t “how” you do something just as important as the results? Quality versus Quantity. i.e. Companies that make products without care for the process, materials, construction, they just want to get a product out the door. Restaurants that just heat up food, without care for the freshness, ingredients or cooking. Or anything done without care for quality, method, process, technique.
Of course results are important but it would be like a sports team only focused on the result of winning without focusing on the quality of their process. The danger is measuring progress simply by the results of winning or losing. Developing a culture (product) of quality, performance and excellence takes time and cannot always be accurately judged by the outcome. It’s having confidence in the belief that focusing on the quality and the “how” you do something will eventually produce the results and outcome you want and ultimately be proud of.
The “how” and “why” matter.
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Good Enough
Afraid of finding out you’re not “good enough” so you don’t even try. Live in a false-reality of denial and self-delusion. Let yourself believe, you’re good enough, surround yourself around people that don’t challenge you, don’t question you, never grow, never progress, never inspire you. They will never push you, never be “better” than you, because they too will never try. Finding comfort and confidence in being better than the sub-par and mediocrity.
Find inspiration in the passion, conviction and growth in others. It’s not about being “good enough” or “better” than others, it’s about finding the path of growth and learning, facing adversity and discouragement, the overwhelming pressure of not being “good enough” and then overcoming, persevering with an indomitable spirit and then realizing you’re invincible to the words “you’re not good enough” because this judgment isn’t fatalistic, it isn’t even real. But be humble in your progression and development. It’s not about being “good enough” or “not good enough” and measuring yourself against others or an unattainable perfection. Embrace the act of doing and embodying the spirit of a mastering your craft.
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Don’t judge me
I’ve heard people say this or live by this mantra… “Only God can judge me.” As if the mantra is an empowerment, freeing them from judgment. But really the mantra feels more like an impotent declaration… “Don’t judge me. I don’t permit you to judge me. I don’t accept it”, but it’s still giving the judgment power, entrapped by its paradigm, operating within its status quo, trying to escape the judgment with the mantra but not really knowing the secret to transcending it.
Judgment is a fixed mindset, locking us into conformity and assimilation. Judgment is separation. Don’t accept that judgment is the status quo, that it’s the default function by how all things operate. If your mindset is fixed with judgment as the status quo, you’ve locked yourself to its conformity and operate within its constraints. You are not free from judgment. So what if it isn’t about judgment, being judged by others, or being judged by God. The secret, the only thing that can transcend judgment is love.
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Best of the Best
“I’m doing the best that I can.” But if I’m being honest with myself… am I really? It’s a question, I’d always ask myself. To what standard, to a perfect standard? Then what do I really mean? “I’m trying my best”. “Trying” such an imperfect word. “Try” can mean anything, to any standard.
A compromise here, a compromise there. Maybe it wasn’t the effort that I could’ve given. I could’ve made mistakes I shouldn’t have. Or my mental focus wasn’t as sharp as it could’ve been. What about my motivation and energy?
On what scale of “try” still qualifies as “trying”? And all I’d need to say was “I’m doing the best that I can” to make excuses, to let myself off the hook. To tell myself any amount of trying, no matter how small, is still trying or doing my best. This was a paradox I couldn’t escape. A question I’d ask myself, I’d know the answer to, but I’d have to make exceptions to not hold myself in judgment. But with every compromise, the standard and qualifications would get lowered every time.
So what?
Stop doing your “best”. Stop saying you’re doing your “best”. Stop expecting the “best” is even possible”. The expectation is the detriment. It’s sabotage. The perfect standard is what’s impossible to meet. Do what you do. Do it with presence, energy and connection. Do it with life, purpose and intention. Do it with passion, enthusiasm and optimism. Do it without the expectation of it being your “best”. Free yourself from that judgment and expectation. Freedom opens you up to the best of what is.