JONGSON PARK

Sometimes we don’t even realize why we do the things we do. It might be a cope, a negative response to something we experienced and that habit becomes a part of our ‘DNA’. Sometimes the cope might have a more productive outcome. So how many of our habits are born from a negative response? Does it matter?

Maybe to some people it doesn’t. I think in the long tail it does. In the short run, the habit might help us to move forward and past the negative experience. It might be just a bandaid to get us through the day. But in the long run, the negative feeling becomes the motivation and force behind our actions. Maybe it’s a feeling of inadequacy, scarcity, jealousy, insecurity, dependency or anger. Now those feelings become the driver for much of what we do and how we shape our lives.

Often those negative feelings can push someone to high places of achievement and accomplishments but I think the longterm outlook is to get on “clean” fuel – intention, purpose, service, compassion, humility.

Some people believe you need that edge to compete, win and succeed. I believe you don’t. It might not be easier to find that place but once you do, it is easier. Life is easier. Balance is easier. Success and fulfillment are easier.

Sustainable creative output from a place of constant energy and flow.

Keeping promises you make yourself is probably one of the most difficult things to do in life. Because the only person keeping you accountable is yourself. If you break the promise, no one else will really care or even know.

Breaking promises to yourself can become a habit. Making them, then breaking them can be a cycle of disappointment and regret.

Promises usually aren’t easy.

We usually make promises that we know would benefit us or are for our own good. But sometimes we put others ahead of us or maybe think we’re not worth the effort.

But keeping the promises we make ourselves makes us more dependable, resilient, trustworthy.

Promises are made with the best intentions but to fulfill them, requires much more than feelings, emotions and feeling good. You’ll need follow through, sustainability, consistency, thoughtfulness, intention and resiliency.

So be mindful of which promises you make yourself, be thoughtful and understand the value the words and intentions you commit to.

I think the biggest hurdle in trying to form new habits is the decision. The moment where you have to decide, ‘do I do this or skip it, it’s not that big of a deal if I don’t do it.’ The negotiation that happens when you really don’t want to do it, to have to expend that extra energy to change the inertia.

The solution is to the remove the decision. Make the action automatic. Bypass the negotiation, don’t even start the internal conversation.

The second tactic you can use is to, make the decision the only thing you need to commit to. If you’re trying to create a new workout habit. You will run into days, where you really don’t want to do it. Because it will happen, you’re spending more energy, more ‘will power’, discipline and feel more fatigued, your desire and motivation will dip.

Sometimes you can tell yourself, just a 10 or 5 minute workout or just drive to the parking lot and that’s all I need to do today. What you’re doing is “training the decision”. You make committing to the decision the habit you’re trying to build, not necessarily the workout. So you just drive to the gym parking lot or just do a 5 minute workout. But guess what, many of the times, you may end up doing the full workout anyways once get over the decision.