We already know. We already know everything about ourselves. The really difficult challenge is accepting those things about ourselves.
Have you ever said something to someone, you might be pointing something out, might be giving some advice, or might even be something critical. And they say “I know”. The problem is they do know. They already know everything you’re saying. They just don’t want to hear it, saying “I know” is a defense mechanism. A low-key passive aggressive, “I don’t want to hear this right now”. And it’s some kind of ego trip of, “let me deal with it, my own way”. Triggered.
As if saying the criticism or not saying it, saves us the grief. But whether it’s spoken or not, the real work is overcoming the ego to the point where even if somebody mentions it or brings it up, you have security and confidence that you are working on it and it’s okay that you’re in a place where it might be open to criticism. The ability is being free from the other person’s judgment, which is exposing your own self-judgment, that’s why it triggers defensiveness.