I think there are two types of tendencies, either attacking the self or attacking externally.
Attacking the self – thoughts of inadequacy, need to always do better, a heavy self-reliance, self-examination and evaluation, the inner-voice is honest and unsparing, at times unfair. Self-criticism is harsh. Value and self-worth are frequently in doubt. Something can always be done better. Points of failure always starts with square one. The blame starts with “me”.
Attacking externally – The blame starts with “you”. What’s wrong with “them”. Why can’t “they” change. It’s “me” verse the world and everyone against “me”. Everything seems so “unfair”. Everyone is out to get me. Everyone is wrong and I’m right. Everyone else is usually the problem.
They both overlap, it’s the same voices but one is directed inward while the other is outward. Some people are able to use either voice as a source of motivation or power but others can be crushed by the voices. In either case, I don’t think it is a healthy mindset. Both come from a feeling of inadequacy, judgement and feeling of rejection. They conjure defensiveness, criticism, separation and disconnectedness.
Instead try acceptance, forgiveness and grace. For yourself and others.