I used to only rely on what I could think out, trust in my own thoughts, spend most of my attention, presence in what was going on in my own head. But as I’ve grown and learned, there is an ability to be more present to other people. Be a receptor, receiver, open to what the other person is giving. As a child I think I was very open, and I could sense everything. I couldn’t speak English, I spoke very little. I had a hard time communicating so I had a heightened sense of awareness. I was/am so sensitive to everything. I had to close it off, shut it down for a bit to learn how to manage, control it. Not let every stimulus hijack my thoughts, emotions, energy. To learn that I do have some control over how I respond to other people’s energy but also, if possible, try to refract it into something positive.
Just one example would be, having friends or spending time with critical or defeatist minded people, I would start adopting those same attitudes. Similar for insecurity, competition, inferiority, tempers or jealousy.
I think the tendency for me, when someone is giving off a negative energy or expressing a self-critical mind, I will sense it, feel it and internalize it. I will start to direct that negative energy onto myself, which ends up me taking it personal. One solution would be to be closed off to block that energy, that creates a coldness, isolation, separation from other people. But I can still feel and can see what other people’s energy but I’m more guarded and because I’m trying to protect myself from this emotional intrusion, it feels like an assault and everything starts to look like an attack. So that really wasn’t much of a better solution. Now, I think for me, the response has been let myself be open to other people’s energy, acknowledge it, don’t judge it, embrace that we can each have our own energy and for me to respond with understanding, grace, empathy and compassion. This has become a more positive experience for me.